Indifferent

I want you to know
I have never felt
like this way before
so indifferent.

I want you to see
how it makes me happy
when you start falling
back to me… back to me.

All of the things you said that you are
Oh my love
Every time you said you will try
Oh my love
Everything’s gone and I don’t want it back
Oh my love
Can you see what have you done?

I want you to feel
everything I have been through
stalk my every move
but I escape you

I don’t want it
I don’t need it anymore…
Please just leave me and move on

All of the things you said that you are
Oh my love
Every time you said you will try
Oh my love
Everything’s gone and I don’t want it back
Oh my love
Can you see what have you done?

You think that I want you back
I don’t
I feel so lucky now
after you’re gone

All of the things you said that you are
Oh my love
Every time you said you will change
Oh my love
Everything’s gone and I don’t want it back
Oh my love
Can you see what have you done?
Can you see what have you done?

Metropolis – Part I – “The Miracle And The Sleeper”

The smile of dawn
arrived early May
She carried a gift from her home
The night shed a tear
to tell her of fear
and of sorrow and pain
she’ll never outgrow

Death is the first dance, eternal

There’s no more freedom
The both of you will be confined
to this mind

I was told there’s a miracle
for each day that I try
I was told there’s a new love that’s born
for each one that has died
I was told there’d be no one to call on
when I feel alone and afraid
I was told if you dream of the next world
you’ll find yourself swimming in a lake of fire

As a child, I thought I could live
without pain, without sorrow
As a man, I’ve found it’s all
caught up with me
I’m asleep yet I’m so afraid

Somewhere like a scene from a memory
there’s a picture worth a thousand words
Eluding stares from faces before me
it hides away and will never be heard of again

Deceit is the second without end

The city’s cold blood teaches us to survive
Just keep my heart in your eyes
and we’ll stay alive

The third arrives…

Before the leaves have fallen
before we lock the doors
There must be the third and last dance
This one will last forever
Metropolis watches and thoughtfully smiles
She’s taken you to your home

It can only take place
when the struggle between our children has ended
Now the Miracle and the Sleeper know
that the third is love

Love is the Dance of Eternity

I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem

The Offspring to me, as funny it may sound, was my introduction to metal. Hence, I thought to give them a well-deserved place in the Anthology. Music as any art takes influences from many sources (genres). One of those was metal. Punk has never come into communion with my music tastes and appreciations. If it wouldn’t be for the rock and metal influences, the band probably would pass unnoticed to me. I was introduced by friends who surprisingly were into the punk big time. I am saying surprisingly because many The Offspring fandom don’t come from punk culture. They sound too mainstream, too light compared to for example Sex Pistols. However, as with punk, words do matter and maybe not political, they have a number of protest songs.

One of those is a love protest song. Yes, that’s right. We all too well hear and see females with broken hearts. Like probably the vast majority of things, same for love, it is not gender-specific. Men don’t talk too much about it, simply not to be made subject of laughter or being called a ‘pussy’. Yet, it happens and I would think it happens a fair amount of time. Nevertheless, it’s how I felt and I still can relate to this song more than 20 years later. Things do change, but one thing is certain. Some men, especially the one who do care, are being abused. Still, we all feel the desire for the prettier sex and that makes us suckers. Especially us, suckers with no self-esteem.

If you don’t know what I am talking about then watch this clip:

The song is about this guy, really gagging for this girl. Whether he is in love or simply blindly physically attracted to her we don’t know. We do know, however, he wants to have a proper relationship with her and goes far and beyond to make it happen. He is at this point though, someone has called it a narcissistic relationship, where he realises he is being used and is committed to end this relationship. That is until he sees her again.

The lack of confidence but also the lack of belief in himself, and probably a thought that he is punching above his weight places him in this emotional prison. For him, the grass is not greener next door. He truly wants this girl but she turns up to him only when there’s no alternative. I don’t need to be a psychologist to tell you how much it sucks. And hey! I have been there too so I am not judging. I do feel for the chap.

He said they’ve made plans to spend a night together, but by the tone of how it sounds, it’s likely he made plans and got stood up. I don’t believe they live together but it is kind of serious. For him for sure, for her… she wants to keep him. I reckon she is the femme fatale type of a woman and because of this, his insecurity is very high. He also is playing someone he is not. He is trying to make a statement and win her over by buying shit. Man o man, how many times, how many men lost their fortunes to win the hand of a lady. He really is sinking to the bottom for that girl. And then he actually does.

The more you suffer,
the more it shows you really care.
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is the low in my opinion that he hits. It doesn’t go worse than this. This was my low, and I bet many other guys can relate. It wouldn’t be such a popular song in the end, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah! Thought so!

Somehow the acceptance of suffering, as a way to win her over, is the most tragic in the entire song. The fact he answers himself to his rhetorical question shows he doesn’t seek help, he seeks reassurance and approval in his conquest to win his girlfriend’s heart. He understands it’s not just suffering, he has to show her he really cares. So he suffers, and so he waits, while she continues to sleep with his friends.

To lift the mood a little here’s an acoustic version of the song performed live! It’s very good. Enjoy ?

Self Esteem

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
and practised all the things I would say
but she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert

Now I know I’m being used
That’s okay man, ’cause I like the abuse
I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay ’cause I got no self-esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait ’til 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she’s saying, oh, that she wants only me
then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh, that I’m like a disease
then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
but I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
the more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I’ll relate this little bit
that happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She’s drunk again and looking to score

Now I know I should say “No”
but it’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb but I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem

When she’s saying, oh, that she wants only me
then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh, that I’m like a disease
then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
but I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
the more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Dreadful Moments

Limp footsteps stump to my door
He’s coming down the corridor
Tears wash my face, I cannot stand
These lessons taught by father’s wreakful hand

Dreadful moments always last too long
This pain and woe just can’t be gone
Dreadful moments always last too long
This pain and woe just can’t be gone

Mother, would you come and save me from this hell
Oh, mother, I can’t take this anymore
Please, oh please, let me feel your hand on me forevermore
I beg you crying out, cease reign of horror

Piercing silence is the only to reply
No one gives their aid no matter how I cry
Being fed to lions I’m left high and dry

Atrocity makes only of its own kind
Those never felt a gentle touch
Can solely clench their fists to grind
And bring this world so much of grief

Dreadful moments always last too long
This pain and woe just can’t be gone
Dreadful moments always last too long
This pain and woe just can’t be gone

Childhood of misery
Is lifelong injury
A burden hidden by the curtain of years
A trauma that could not be healed

Childhood of misery
Is lifelong injury
A burden hidden by the curtain of years
A trauma that could never be healed

Memories of fear and dread
Deeply sealed

Ape

The beginning of all beginnings
The era of nonexistence
When the Earth wasn’t the Earth
When our planet was a fireball
It was raining heavily for a thousand years
And the fireball became an ocean
That cooking water, the primal soup
A natural life-giving potion

This substance strove to find a way
To create another form of miracle

I brought a myriad atoms and turn them into your flesh
Regenerated through destruction and chaos
While the young world was sculpting itself
No one could notice how you stroke a different pose

Voracious ape who walks upright
Who deserts life to satisfy his appetite
Don’t you remember you were the size of a bean?
Now what a shame to wear the name of a ‘human being’

Oh, here you are! Vertically standing!
He, who calls himself intelligent
But has not much for understanding
Oh, here you go, Mr. Know-it-all!
I made a mistake when I created you long time ago

Oh, here you go (Mr. Know-it-all)
Oh, here you go (Mr. Know-it-all)
Oh, here you go

Just the mention of your name
Would make the whole world start to shake
Who gave you right to save your life
By taking life from others?
By taking life away!

By taking life away!
By taking life away!

Bloodthirsty ape who walks upright
What shall I do to humble your appetite?
Bloodthirsty ape who walks upright
What shall I do to humble your appetite?